As I sit here at work, I can’t help but to ponder on when my career will lift off. When will I find my calling? Why am I sitting here? This isn’t for me. What is taking so long for God to bless me with employment that will not only be my passion, but will also be a steady income to provide for my family. While there are a million and one jobs out there, it is as if there is nothing in existence. At this point I am starting to feel as if my education was received in vain. I should have just got a degree in Engineering or Mathematics. What is the point of having degrees, experience, knowledge, and common sense if it is irrelevant. It’s almost as if it is obsolete.
We do all of this work in school, we learn so much, we are prepared to go out to work. Then you get there, and BOOM! NOTHING!!! Out in the world, all this money spent, all your time given, all this work put in and still nothing. What the FUCK am I doing!? Then there’s this feeling of hopelessness, as if there’s no way out this deep abyss called life. I feel like I am sinking, nowhere to go, no purpose, no path, and confused.
I was told recently that in order to get ahead you have to lie. Lie on your resume, lie in an interview, and even lie doing the job, if you need to. Google is your best friend. Sometimes the only way to get the job you want is to ‘fake it til you make it’. There is always room to learn, so you might as well lie to get what you want, right?
Even with an idea of the path I want to take, I’m not quite sure exactly how I will get there. I have been working in healthcare for almost 5 years. I enjoy it greatly!! There is some enjoyment I get out of being in a facility with the elderly population. They can be so wise, and give the best advice. I have gained some of my best advice from a few of my residents. It is so rewarding to be in a place with adults that have experienced so much of life that I have not even thought of experiencing.
In the meantime, I will put things in Gods hands. I’m sure He will send something my way. I’m definitely on the lookout and hoping something shows up sooner rather than later!
Ella B. ❤️