August 1, 2015 at 34 weeks I welcomed my beautiful baby girl into this world. Zoe Aria made her way into my life a little earlier than expected, but welcome nonetheless. Just to think, I went in for a routine doctors visit on July 29th and was told I had to go to the hospital and was having a baby by the end of the weekend. I was scared. I had severe preeclampsia, so baby was coming 6 weeks earlier than expected! I had to have an emergency c-section due to elevated blood pressure levels. Those few days in the hospital were very stressful (that is a long drawn out delivery story). Even with all the stress, I was grateful to see my sweet girl and bring her home.
We stayed in the hospital an entire week after her birth because she was considered premature. Being in the hospital taking care of her made things so easy. I was so ready to go home, but so unprepared for what going home would bring. The thing about becoming a parent, motherhood in particular, is that their is no manual for this! They just throw you in the wild to a pack of wolves. No instructions, nothing! While I believe that women have that natural instinct to be a mother, there is still soooooooo much to learn. I am nowhere near learning or knowing everything that it takes to be a mother. I am learning every day, every minute, every second.
When I first got home I got no sleep! It didn’t help that my body was still in pain and recovering from this major surgery. I could barely walk to the bathroom, and definitely had trouble walking up and down the stairs. While my boyfriend was of great assistance, I did hold much animosity toward him because he didn’t have to experience what I had just experienced. I’m not used to not being able to do for myself, so having to depend on others was very hard for me. My parents and siblings were also of great help, and for that I will forever be grateful.
My sweet girl is now 3 months and growing so beautifully. She is now cooing, smiling, laughing, trying to talk me ears off, and attempting to roll. I am looking forward to watching her grow each day. A baby is such a beautiful gift, and I am grateful to be able to experience motherhood.
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” — Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh