What’s Holding You Back

This morning I almost pulled myself to not go to church. I still had to finish my laundry, get myself together, get Zoe together, feed her all her breakfast, and on top of that I had a headache. That was me just making excuses.

None of that stopped us though. We made it this morning. I stepped out of my comfort zone and attended a different church this morning. My baby clapped and danced, and felt right at home.

The message of the day was ‘A Second Chance’. God gave us a second chance, if he didn’t and gave up on us we wouldn’t be here today.

This morning I didn’t let fear get in my way, I did what was right, heard what I needed to hear, and for that I feel blessed.

Everything Will Fall Into Place

Over the weekend I had a mini revelation. So as I’m on social media I ran across a blog post, The Day I Stopped Loving My Boyfriend So Much. Now, while I don’t put my boyfriend ‘first’ anyway (as some would believe that I should), I had to agree so much this posting.

The author discusses how we value other things more than we value our God. While we are steady valuing these other things over our God we tend to forget that people will fail us, He will not. When we put all our faith in people and objects that can always leave your life it’s like setting ourselves up for failure, since they can let you down.

God won’t do that. He will never put you in a situation that you cannot handle or you were not designed for.

For myself, I know that I put these unrealistic expectations on my boyfriend and when they are not achieved I get disappointed, not only with him but with myself as well.

In recent months I have been trying to become closer to God, put Him in my life and relationship more and more each day. I believe that by doing this and showing my boyfriend that I am serious about my faith and what I stand for then maybe he will change his outlook on different topics that we discuss.

I’ve always been in the church growing up. Most of us tend to go to church at a younger age because that is what our parents have instilled on us. It is not necessarily a choice of ours, but we know to go because that is what we were taught.

After speaking with a coworker of mine, she told me that when people are ready, and they experience different things in their life they will always go back to their faith and understand what it is God is doing and how He works. At that time you will have a better understanding of why you are in the situations that you are in and you will become closer to God (that’s what she said in a nutshell). It will be more than ‘I’m going to church because my mom is on the choir and my dad is a reverend’, it will be more than ‘this is how I was raised’. It will start meaning something to you.

For me that meaning is my daughter, my relationship, my well-being, and expanding my faith. I want to set a positive example for my daughter now so that when she does get to be 25 or earlier even, she will have already been in the church and understands Gods work and when she is ready she will relate that to her own life and understand and truly know her worth and what God has and will continue to do for her.

The biggest step is taking that action in order to make that necessary change. Once you change your outlook and ways, everything else will follow.

I’ve started to really pay attention to this lately. Praying more, trusting Him more, and leaving all of my troubles in His hands. I am changing each and every day. Whether it is seen by others, who knows, but who really cares because as long as I see a difference that is all that matters.

When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place.

Value God more, and all other voids will be filled. Don’t leave large expectations on other entities, you’re just setting yourself up for failure.

 

 

Happiness is Within You….Find Yourself

Everything truly does happen for a reason.Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. I am beginning to see that more and more as each day passes.

A lot has seemed to change since I last checked in. I gained a job, left a job, laughed, cried, stressed, celebrated, and the list goes on and on. I’m sure that we all carry some level of stress at some point in our lives.

Being a part of social media we see how ‘perfect’ our friends, families, associates, and colleagues lives are, RIGHT? Right….Perfect. In whose eyes though. Nobody’s life is truly that perfect, or as perfect as they make it seem. I’ll be the first to say that my life is nowhere near perfect, and I honestly don’t think it will ever get the that utopic or fictitious level of perfection. It will only be as perfect as I am willing to accept and make it. Different people, different perspectives, different definitions all together.

I’m not even going to lie, I have had my moments where it’s like, ‘Where is my blessing’,  ‘What am I doing wrong’, ‘Why am I not married’. My time is coming for it all. The perfect career will come, I just have to take a leap of faith, put myself out there, and take risks. If I have to apply for a job that I’m not completely qualified for, I’m down for that too. I mean, if Donald Trump can apply for a job he’s not qualified for, then why can’t I…SOOOOOO, cheers to taking chances and not limiting myself.

Every experience is a stepping stone, a learning experience, a break right before something greater. I like the job I’m doing now. The people are amazing and they have given me a lot of beneficial knowledge.

From career, to relationships, to religion. I am starting to believe that I was put in the job for a reason. It started as a temporary position, but then it became permanent, which was a blessing in itself. I had been seeking full time employment forever it seems. I interviewed for this position in November, they hired someone else, then they called me out of the blue in March to come fill in temporarily. But, you see how God works, he makes things happen when you least expect them to. Don’t get me wrong, I am always seeking new employment and new experiences, but this has put me in a position where I have been able to gain some experience that will help me get to where I want to be.

I am working on becoming more in-tuned with my religious and spiritual side slowly but surely. I want to be able to bring more religion into my relationship to help us grow. I want to set a positive example for our daughter.

My outlook on life has expanded greatly and I am really looking forward to the next steps in my path. I have been, and continue to pray each day. For my family, my relationship, my finances, my friends, my future, my career, etc. I want to be able to reflect on what I read and apply it to my own life so that I can make that necessary change to be better as a girlfriend and eventually wife, and a better person overall.

The first step is working on SELF…

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Back to Adulting

Becoming a mommy has definitely been both a gift and a curse for me. At times I can get very emotional, wanting to be left alone, with not a clue of what I’m supposed to be doing with my life or as a mother. Other days I am so upbeat, ready to go places, and be active. It is definitely a lot of ups and downs for sure. Between work, home, my relationship, and just the other hassles of life, it’s hard.

I have been searching for employment since before I got pregnant, inactively when I gave birth, but now it is way more active than before. Interview after interview, and nothing many times. Even though I really want a new job and to make more money, since I have a Masters degree that I don’t want to waste, I really don’t want to work full time. Not yet!! I want to be home with my baby. That’s really the hardest part. I have spent so much time with her the last 7 months, that I’m not quite ready.

Monday I will be getting back to adulting. Working a full time job, in addition to my part time job. I’m scared!! To get back in the swing of things will be difficult. Waking up early every morning and having to leave my girl all day will be tough. I am not extremely concerned because she will be with either sets of her grandparents (Thank God!), but to leave her for hours at a time!? My goodness!!

But, hey! I have to do what I must, as a mother. Especially a mother that has plenty of goals that need to be met. I look forward to the extra funds, they will definitely be useful in taking care of baby girl, paying bills, and doing other things.

Back to Adulting!!

Holiday Blessings

As I’m laying here at 6:39 in the morning, I can’t help but stare at my sweet girl. While sleeping in her crib majority of the night, I couldn’t help but to lay her next to me, for my own sense of security. It is very amazing how such a small person can become such a large gift in ones life. When I look at her I see so much love and innocence. Just to think, this beautiful sleeping baby girl, created from the love of two people, is really here. It is still hard to believe sometimes. We have created something so amazing. She brings so much joy, peace, and tranquility, yet she doesn’t even know it.
Even with my sweet girl a few days shy of 5 months old, Christmas was a gift in itself. She didn’t understand much of what was going on. It wasn’t about me, it was all about her. I looked forward mostly to that. She played with the few things we got her that made noises. She played with tissue paper, because that’s what babies do! Lol. She fought sleep so many times throughout the day, as if she was going to miss something if she went to sleep. She just wanted to hang like the big people, and I can’t blame her.

Motherhood has opened my eyes greatly and is teaching me so much. While I’m losing patience in some areas of my life, I’m gaining patience in areas that I never thought I could. I’m focusing on different things, and finding importance in the things that really matter. Having a baby can really change your perception on life. It’s very positive, for me anyway. When I’m feeling discouraged, coming home and seeing that little round face changes my entire mood. I love talking with her, holding her, staring and her, and loving her overall.

I love my sweet girl. She may just be the very best gift that I’ve been blessed to have.